


V14 - Promises of Rainbows

by JudyL



Series: The Vet Series [15]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-19
Updated: 2011-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-24 19:16:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/266929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudyL/pseuds/JudyL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks to Cheryl for the beta reads and wonderful fine tuning. She suggested a great title too, but I saw someone else had used it on a story and so her title inspired the one I used. Thanks cuz.</p><p>Let's see, warnings? Um, angst… angst… and, oh yeah, angst. This is the follow up to Part 13, references to rape are made, but nothing graphic. If you haven't read the first 13 stories, I suggest you back up a page and start from the top.</p>
    </blockquote>





	V14 - Promises of Rainbows

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Cheryl for the beta reads and wonderful fine tuning. She suggested a great title too, but I saw someone else had used it on a story and so her title inspired the one I used. Thanks cuz.
> 
> Let's see, warnings? Um, angst… angst… and, oh yeah, angst. This is the follow up to Part 13, references to rape are made, but nothing graphic. If you haven't read the first 13 stories, I suggest you back up a page and start from the top.

Vet Series

Part 14

Promises of Rainbows

November 14, 2004 (edited May 13, 2007)

~~~~~~~

June 23

Jim woke to find his wife in his arms. He gently pulled her closer and nuzzled the back of her neck. It had been a long night, filled with vivid nightmares, tears and reassurances. Every time Jenny woke she'd had a moment of disorientation when she thought the rogue Sentinel still had her.

Finally, by waking Jenny as soon as a nightmare started, Jim was able to convince his wife that she was home, safe. He glanced over at the clock on Jen's side table. It was almost nine a.m., they'd finally managed a stretch of five whole hours of sleep.

Jim ever so gently adjusted his arms around Jen. In this spoon position, his right arm had fallen asleep. He turned his pain dial down so the tingling of the awakening limb would not bother him and concentrated on the feel of Jenny against him.

She moaned softly. Jim stroked her hair. "Easy Jen," he whispered. "You're home. You're safe. Just sleep, sweetie."

Jen took a deep breath and relaxed against her husband, not quite waking. Jim closed his eyes, grateful that his wife trusted him so much. A lot of good that did her! Jim forced himself to relax and pushed his guilt away. Jenny needed him. He couldn't afford to wallow in negative emotions when he needed every ounce of love and encouragement he could muster to help Jen through this. God, I sound like Blair. Jim smiled softly at the thought.

Jim's left hand drifted down to cover Jen's stomach. A baby. He still couldn't quite believe he was going to be a father. Sure, they'd talked about it, knew it would happen, probably sooner than later, but… He focused on the sensations under his palm careful to split his attention so as not to zone. Jim grinned as he found the 'hot spot' that was their child. Wait til I tell your momma about this little trick.

Suddenly Jim's stomach churned and he knew he was going to be sick. He gently but quickly pulled away from his wife and rolled off the bed hoping he could make it to the bathroom in time.

"Jim?" he heard Jenny's confused call as he sped down the stairs.

"Bathroom," he managed to grunt, not sure if she heard. Jim just managed to get the toilet seat up before the meager contents of his stomach made a re-appearance. After a few dry heaves, Jim straightened and flushed the toilet. He rinsed his mouth and washed his face raising his head to look in the mirror. The reflection staring back startled him.

Jim was surprised at how haggard he looked. Water droplets dripped down his face finding lines that he didn't remember. He lifted both hands and wiped the water away closing his eyes only to open them abruptly as he realized he'd been about to fall asleep standing up.

I guess Jen's not the only one who's exhausted. With a frown at the mirror, Jim turned and headed slowly back to the bedroom. He could hear Jenny's quick heart beat and shallow breaths. Damn. Jim took the stairs two at a time rubbing his stomach as he went. I hope I'm not coming down with something.

Jenny was sitting up in bed facing the stairs when Jim reached the top.

"What's wrong, Jim?" she asked in that same quiet, timid voice she'd been using since he'd rescued her. He really hated that voice, or rather what it represented.

"Nothing, sweetie," Jim replied, crawling back onto the bed and catching Jen in a hug. "Just had to visit the little boy's room."

Jen nodded, leaning into Jim as if he were the only comfort in the world. Jim pulled her closer and kissed Jen's forehead.

"Are you hungry? I can fix breakfast," he offered.

She shook her head. "Sleepy," Jen yawned as she started to sink back onto the mattress.

"Okay, Jen," Jim replied, easing his drowsy wife back onto the bed. "Sounds good to me." He stretched out beside her once again and soon both husband and wife were sound asleep.

*****

Late that evening

"Jen," Jim insisted, staring at his wife with pleading eyes. "You need to eat something. Just come downstairs with me for a few minutes. Please?"

Jenny rolled over and pulled the covers over her head. "I'm not hungry," she said petulantly. "Leave me alone."

Jim closed his eyes. He was so frustrated at his inability to help his wife that he wasn't too surprised when he felt moisture on his cheeks. He roughly wiped the tears away and moved to sit on the bed. "Jenny," Jim said softly, "I don't know how to help you through this… maybe we should talk to someone…"

"no," came the muffled reply.

"But…"

"No."

"Okay," Jim sighed. "For now. But if you don't eat, then I will take you back to the hospital," he threatened, hating himself for having to sink so low.

Jenny sat up abruptly and stared at Jim. After several long, silent moments she dropped her gaze. "Can I eat up here?" she whispered.

Jim reached over and caressed her cheek, biting his lip when Jen flinched back just a bit from his touch. "Sure, sweetheart. I'll bring up a tray."

Jen nodded and lay back down turning to face the wall. Jim ran his hand through his hair and went down to fix dinner.

****

June 25  
Two days later

Jim opened the door and moved back into the loft to let Blair in. Sandburg stared at his friend in dismay. "Jesus, Jim! You look like shit," he said, catching Jim by the arm and turning the older man toward him. "What's going on? Where's Jen? Have you eaten anything?"

Blair's worried eyes took in the Sentinel's haggard appearance. Jim seemed to have lost even more weight in the last few days. Weight that Ellison couldn't afford to lose. His skin seemed a bit gray and his eyes… Blair grabbed Jim in a hug and quickly found their link.

The jungle formed around the brothers, but Blair did not let go. And Jim seemed content to remain in his embrace.

"God, Jim! Let me help!" Blair said, almost overwhelmed by Jim's depression.

The Sentinel tightened his hold on his Guide and buried his face into the crook of Blair's neck. "I don't know how to help her, Blair. She doesn't want to do anything. I have to force her to get up and eat and shower and…"

Blair rocked his friend gently. "She needs professional help, Jim. This is too much for you to do on your own."

Jim nodded slightly, his head still tucked against his Guide. "I know. She doesn't want to see anyone," he replied softly, sounding lost. Not a response that Blair was used to seeing in his no-nonsense, ex-military, stoic Sentinel.

"Would it help if someone else talks to her?" Blair asked, trying to decide who might have the best chance of getting through to Jenny.

Jim shrugged and straightened out of the hug. "I don't know Chief," he replied raggedly. "I've asked her if she would see Mike, my Dad, you, El… she even refused to let me call her parents. They were on a trip for their anniversary when Jen was kidnapped, I never got hold of them."

"They don't know?" Blair asked mortified.

Ellison shook his head and rubbed a hand over his face. "I don't think Jen plans on telling them either."

"Damn," Blair said. "I could call Nat and see what he suggests. I think he had someone in mind, he mentioned it at the hospital." The Guide watched his brother closely. "It may mean telling someone else about us."

Jim met Blair's eyes and nodded slowly. "I kinda figured that one out myself, Chief," he said with a small fragment of his normal humor. "This whole situation came about because of Sentinels, how could we possibly get help from someone who doesn't know?"

Blair gave Jim a lopsided grin. "Okay. I'll call him in a little while," he frowned critically at Jim. "Now why aren't you eating? I assumed you'd be taking better care of yourself now that Jen's home and so obviously needs you."

He was surprised when Jim suddenly sat down and cradled his head in his hands. "I'm trying, Chief. Really."

The Guide sat beside his friend and put an arm across Jim's shoulders. "What's going on, Jim?"

"I don't know. I thought…that maybe I was coming down with something," Jim looked up at his partner. "I eat, but it won't stay down. And I'm just plain exhausted, Blair," he said, leaning into his brother.

"Okay," Blair stated, "that does it. I'm calling Nat over ASAP to take a look at both of you. Then you're going to eat something and I'll get Elise to check on Jen." He tilted his head. "Are you ready to go back?"

Jim nodded and took a deep breath. "Yeah, Chief. Thanks."

Blair gave Jim's shoulders a squeeze. "Remember, you just have to ask, Jim."

Back in the real world, Blair gently pushed Jim over to the couch and made him sit. The Guide picked up the cordless phone and called Nat while he walked back to his loft and got Elise. Nat agreed to come straight over and then Blair filled El in as they made themselves comfortable in the Ellison kitchen and started dinner.

Jim sat on the couch and actually dozed off to the comforting sound of his Guide's voice.

~~~~~~~

Several hours later

Dr. Nat Kingston took his stethoscope off and sat back puzzled. "I'm not finding anything obviously wrong, Jim. No fever, no abdominal pain or tenderness, your lymph nodes are normal." He frowned. "I'll get a blood sample for the lab, but I think it's probably just a combination of exhaustion and reaction to this whole situation."

Jim sighed with relief and let his tired body sink back into the couch. Blair reached over with one hand and rubbed the back of Jim's neck. "What about Jen?" Jim asked, glancing up at the bedroom. Nat had done her exam first, upstairs because Jenny still wouldn't come down unless she had to. It’s a good thing we don’t have a bathroom upstairs.

Nat pursed his lips. "I have a friend who specializes in trauma victims. She deals with police officers, victims of crimes and accidents… I trust her," Nat emphasized, meeting Jim's eyes with conviction. "I also have an OB in mind."

It’s good to finally have a medical doctor in the family. Blair nodded. "It would be nice to have a shrink in on the whole Sentinel thing." The Shaman smiled slightly. "Heaven knows we should all probably be seeing someone on a regular basis."

Kingston snorted but the amusement didn't last. "Iffy's been through one too many 'situations.' She needs professional help this time."

Jim frowned. "She didn't see a psychiatrist the first time Brandon kidnapped her?"

The doctor shrugged. "A few sessions with a women's survivor group. Not exactly what she needed, but Iffy figured she 'knew' enough Psych to get through it on her own." Nat grimaced. "I suppose she's done well enough, but…"

Blair filled the silence. "I think we'd like to meet your shrink friend, Nat."

Jim nodded. "Yeah, but Jenny's not going to agree. Not yet." He tossed another worried frown up at the room.

"Well," Nat suggested, "we'll just have to find a way to convince her."

************

Later that night

Jim backed away from the door and let Mike hobble in. She’d been chastised soundly by Nat for damaging ‘his’ knee again. She was restricted to crutches for at least another week.

"I'm sorry, Mike," Jim said, closing the door. "She still doesn't want to see anyone."

Mike focused her senses on the upstairs bedroom. "I know you can hear me, kouyuu. Please let me come up," she begged.

Jim and Mike both heard the soft response. "Please… Mikey… not now. I… please?"

Both Sentinels sighed as their eyes met. Resigned sadness echoed on both their faces.

"Give her a few more days, Mike," Jim suggested Sentinel soft. "She's better, it's just…"

Jackson nodded, blinking back the moisture in her eyes. Jen's soft, broken plea made the younger Sentinel want to race up the stairs and hold onto her sister and never let go. Instead, Mike swallowed hard and moved to the door.

"All right, Jen. I'll call tomorrow," she said looking at Jim. "Take care of her, Enquiri."

Jim's eyes widened. Where did she learn that? But he didn't ask because Jackson had already slipped out the door. She moves pretty stealthily for a woman on crutches. The Sentinel turned his attention back to his wife. Now what?

******

June 26  
The next day

William Ellison knocked on the door to his son's loft. He wasn't quite sure what to expect. The news that another Sentinel had kidnapped his daughter-in-law had been shocking. The fact that the man had held Jenny for three weeks was unthinkable.

Will knew that Jen had been abused only by the things Jimmy had not said during their phone conversation several days ago. He'd concluded his business as fast as possible and flown home to be with his son and daughter.

Jim opened the door, the surprise on his face was matched by that on Will's. "Dad?"

"Jimmy. My God son," William exclaimed, taking in the obvious signs of stress in his son's appearance. He pulled Jim into a hug and was relieved when his son did not back away. The relief turned to alarm as Will realized that the younger man did not plan to let go any time soon.

William crooned gentle reassurances into his son's ear and rubbed light comforting circles on Jim's back. After several minutes, Jim straightened and quickly turned away wiping his cheeks with the back of one hand. "Sorry," he mumbled, motioning for Will to come in.

The senior Ellison closed the door and followed Jim into the kitchen, watching his son with undisguised love and concern.

"When did you get back?" Jim asked, trying for some semblance of normalcy.

"I just flew in, Jimmy," William replied, shaking his head at the bottle of water Jim offered him. "Where's Jenny?"

Jim took a swig from the water bottle and closed his eyes briefly. "Upstairs."

William caught hold of his son's arm and dragged him to the couch. "Sit and tell me what happened," he requested.

His son just nodded and relayed the events of the last month in a hushed, monotone voice.

Sometime later he finished the tale, explaining to his father how Jen refused to see anyone. Jim even disclosed his own mystery illness before he lapsed into silence.

"I'm sorry, Jimmy," Will said, hugging his son again. "What can I do to help?"

Jim sat back and gave his dad a small, tired smile. "I think it's just going to take some time and patience, Dad. I'm trying to convince her to see a psychiatrist."

William nodded hesitantly then shrugged when he saw Jim's confusion. "I suppose psychiatrists have their place, but I can't help but blame them for your mother's disappearance. They never did figure out what was going on with her."

Jim's eyes widened at the mention of his mother. They hadn't had a civil discussion about her since before Grace disappeared when Jim was ten. "Do you…" Jim cleared his throat and continued nervously, not wanting to upset their fragile new connection. "Do you think Mom was a Sentinel?"

His father stared off across the room for a moment before meeting Jim's gaze. "Looking back, Jimmy… Yes, I do. I just wish we'd known then. Maybe… maybe things would have been different."

The Sentinel nodded then smiled sadly. "It was hard earned knowledge all the way around, Dad. But I'm going to make sure it doesn't get lost again."

"How, Jimmy?"

"Well, whether or not the baby is a Sentinel, we'll pass the knowledge on when he, or she, is old enough to understand. Blair's thesis is complete and locked up in a safe place. It will become a family legacy."

"What if the baby is a Sentinel?" William asked intently.

Jim tilted his head. "Then we treat the child as normally as possible, taking into account the gifts." Jim grinned at his father. "I can call them 'gifts' now Dad. Blair taught me that my senses are not a curse and they don't make me a freak."

William's eyes clouded with tears. "You'll never know how much I regret those words, Jimmy."

"I know, Dad. I even understand. Now. I mean," Jim took a deep breath, "I'd do anything in my power to protect that child up there," he said, pointing to the room where Jenny slept. "But now that I know what I am… The baby, if it is a Sentinel, won't have to go through what Mom and I did. We've got a solid support system of friends and family to rely on."

"I hope," Will said tentatively, "I'm included in that group."

Jim's smile was one of reassurance and relief. "I was hoping you'd say that, Dad." They hugged again and when they pulled apart, William gently placed one hand on his son's cheek.

"I love you, Jimmy."

Jim blinked furiously, but gave his father a sincere smile as he nodded then stood. "Um, Dad, could you just stay here for a bit?" he asked, needing to move past the emotional conversation. "I need to run down to the store for a few things, but I hate to leave her alone." He glanced up at the room focusing his senses on Jenny for a moment. "She's asleep. I should be back before she wakes up."

"Sure, Jimmy," Will replied.

"Thanks, Dad," Jim said. He grabbed his wallet and keys. Just before Jim closed the door he stopped and met his father's questioning gaze. "I love you, too," he said then slipped out the door.

William stood there staring at the closed door as he considered what Jim had said before and what his leaving now meant. He really does trust me. Will smiled brightly then looked up at the bedroom and the proof of that trust.

Will wandered into the kitchen. Maybe I can put some of Sally's cooking lessons into practice. He rummaged quietly through the refrigerator and cabinets getting an idea of what was available, then, making a decision, started making lunch for the three of them.

He had just finished the salad when he heard Jenny call out.

"No! Please!"

William hurried up the stairs then stopped, uncertain what Jen's response to him would be. Her next words convinced him that Jenny was still caught in a nightmare.

"Jim! Help me!"

Will entered the bedroom and saw his daughter struggling against the sheets that she had become entangled in. Jen's eyes were closed tight as she moaned with remembered terror. William sat on the edge of the bed and captured her shoulders.

"Jenny, it's okay. You're safe. I won't let anyone hurt you," Will said softly and calmly. "Wake up, Jen. It's all right now."

At his touch Jenny stiffened and tried to move away, even in her sleep. But slowly, the familiar voice started to penetrate the nightmare and Jen relaxed a bit. Finally, she opened her eyes startled to see her father-in-law sitting next to her. The sadness in his eyes reassured her. She didn’t see pity or… disgust.

"Will?" Jenny whispered breathlessly.

"Yes, dear heart," William replied with a smile as he gingerly brushed Jen's hair back from her face. "You had a nightmare."

Jenny sat up and wrangled with the sheets until she could pull them up around her. "Where's Jim?" she asked anxiously.

"He just went to pick up a few things. He'll be back soon." Will tilted his head. "I made lunch, would you like some?" He held his hand out to her. Jen stared at it as if it were a snake. "Oh, come on, Jen," William teased, "I know that baby has got to be hungry, it's after one o'clock. What time did you have breakfast?"

Jen ducked her head. "Early."

"Well, come on then, no sense in starving yourself." He stood up and started for the stairs.

"Will…" Jenny started.

He turned. "You can call me Dad… if you want."

The smallest hint of a smile graced Jen's lips. "Dad… I'm… I'm afraid. And I'm so tired of being afraid," she sobbed, wrapping her arms around herself as the tears started to fall.

William hurried back to the bed and pulled Jen into a hug. He tucked her head below his chin and rocked them both back and forth. "That's to be expected, Jenny. It's okay to be scared. But you've got to know, we won't let anything happen to you."

"That's what I thought before…" Jen quickly trailed off as she realized the implied criticism. She turned her face into William's chest. "That's not what I mean… It wasn't Jim's fault, he didn’t know. None of us did, it's just…"

Will nodded, patting Jenny's back sympathetically. "It sounds like there was no way to know what that man would do," he paused. "All we can do is try to help you through this."

Jenny hiccupped and nodded. "Jim's never going to let me out of his sight again."

Her father-in-law chuckled. "He trusted me to take care of you."

Jen snorted softly as she pulled out of the hug. "But I haven't left the loft."

"Hmm," William considered, "that's true. That may take a while…" he grinned devilishly. "Maybe by the time the baby graduates high school."

His daughter actually chuckled at that.

"Come on, Jenny. Let's surprise Jim when he comes in."

This time Jen took the offered hand and got out of bed.

~~~~~~~

Jim shifted in the elevator, urging it to go faster. He'd been at the market much longer than he planned and was worried that Jen might have woken. He had no idea how she would react to him not being there. The Sentinel stretched out his hearing. What he heard took his full attention, so he stumbled when the car came to a stop on the third floor.

She's awake. Awake and talking to my Dad? Was that a laugh? Jim took a deep breath of relief as he headed for the front door. Thank you, God. It seemed they had just passed one more, small hurdle to Jenny's recovery.

*********

Later that evening

William stayed around for several hours after lunch then headed home to unpack from his trip with a promise to return the next day. Jim was relieved when Jenny decided, on her own, to shower and stay downstairs to watch a little TV.

Jim heard the outer door open and focused on the hall to see who was coming. He gave Jenny a squeeze. "It's Simon," he said as he stood to go to the door. Jim paused and turned back to his wife. "Are you okay down here?"

Jen nodded, her pupils dilated with barely controlled anxiety. "I'm okay," she whispered, pulling the afghan tighter around her shoulders, one hand reaching out to signal Dreamer up onto the couch. The little terrier jumped up and settled down beside Jen's leg.

Jim nodded and went to let his Captain in. He opened the door and found Simon waiting patiently. "You didn't knock," Jim said, letting Simon in.

"I knew you knew I was here," he saw Jenny on the couch and smiled at her. "Hey, Jenny."

"Simon," Jen murmured with a nod.

Banks turned back to Jim and held out his hand. "I brought these, forensics found them and I knew Jenny would want them back." Jim held out his hand with a frown then took a ragged breath as Simon let two rings fall onto Jim's palm. Jenny's rings.

"Thanks Simon."

"You're welcome." He glanced at Jenny. "There's no real rush, but we will need your statement for the record, Jen. You can give it to whomever you are most comfortable with. Blair, me, any one of the detectives at Central, just let us know. Okay?"

Jen nodded with a slight frown.

Simon looked back at Jim. "Well, I just wanted to return the rings. Oh, and Dan said Carsons tested clean." He smiled sympathetically at Jim's sigh of relief. "Look, I need to head home. Let me know if there's anything I can do."

"Of course, Simon," Jim answered, clapping his hand on the big man's shoulder. "And, thank you," he said, lifting the hand with the rings slightly.

Banks nodded then headed out the door.

Jim closed the door and returned to the couch. "You okay?"

Jen nodded, but seemed a bit confused. "Why don't they need my statement? I thought to hold Carsons, they'd want… he's not out on bail, is he?" she stuttered.

Jim nudged Dreamer gently off the couch and pulled his wife close as he sighed. "Carsons won't ever hurt anyone again, Jen. He's dead."

"What?" Jenny exclaimed, pulling away to see Jim's face.

He ran a hand down his face then through his hair. "They found him in his cell. We think he might have zoned on something and just stopped breathing."

Jenny closed her eyes and concentrated on her own breathing.

"Jenny?" Jim asked concerned.

She opened her eyes and met Jim's gaze. "I can't decide if I'm glad or sad or disappointed…"

Jim gathered Jenny to him again. "I understand what you mean," he assured her. One moment he was glad that Carsons was dead, the next upset that the Sentinel had managed to avoid a more painful punishment, and then just sad that Carsons life had ended so ignominiously.

Only one thing comforted him, and that was knowing that Carsons would never threaten his family again.

******

June 27  
The next morning

Jenny rolled over against Jim and rested her hand on his chest. It felt so good to know Jim was beside her, that she was safe. What the? Jen's eyes opened as she ran her hand down his side surprised at how easily she could feel his ribs.

She raised herself up on one elbow and took a good look at her husband. Jim's face was relaxed in sleep, but that didn't hide the worry lines around his eyes and mouth. Jen's eyes trailed critically down to his bare chest and abdomen, not liking what she saw. He's much too thin. Jenny frowned thoughtfully, trying to recall if she'd seen him eat since she'd been home. But it was no use. You've been too wrapped up in your own head to see how hard this has been on your husband.

Jen closed her eyes as her self-recriminations bounced around her head. Her hand unconsciously caressed Jim's skin as if to erase the pain documented by his gauntness.

"Jen?" Jim's voice cut through her thoughts.

Jenny opened her eyes and met Jim's concerned gaze. "Jim," she sighed, then just laid her head on his chest and held him tight.

"What's wrong, Jenny? Are you okay? Is it the baby?" Jim asked wrapping his arms around her.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Jim asked, running his fingers through her hair. "You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing that happened was your fault."

Jenny shook her head again. "I just fell apart, I …should have…"

Jim caught Jen's chin in his fingers and made her look at him. "What, Jen? What else were you supposed to do? You were kidnapped and assaulted, held against your will for three weeks. And once you were rescued, you found out you were pregnant. Just how is someone supposed to respond to something like that?" Jim demanded.

"I don't know, but…"

"No, Jen. You held it together longer than anyone has a right to expect." Jim sighed. "For God's sake, Jen. You've been kidnapped three times in a little over a year." He paused to collect his thoughts. "You're one of the bravest people I know, Jenny Ellison."

Jenny gave him a small smile. "I don't feel so brave."

Jim grinned. "Well, that's okay," he said, pulling her closer. "Brave just means you face adversity head on when you have to. Right now you don't have anything to fear. You just have to take care of yourself and the baby."

"And you," Jenny said with a frown as she realized she'd lost track of her first concern. She sat up and looked Jim sternly in the eye. "You have not been taking care of yourself. When was the last time you ate?"

Jim grimaced, not wanting to discuss his non-existent illness at the moment. "I'm fine, Jen."

She scowled. "No you're not. You must have lost about ten pounds since…" Jen stopped and crawled over Jim to the edge of the bed then caught his hands and pulled. He allowed himself to be drawn out of bed and followed his wife down stairs.

Jen pushed him toward the bathroom. "Take a shower while I fix breakfast."

"Yes, dear," Jim teased.

Jenny just snorted and opened the refrigerator to see what they had available.

~~~~~~~

Forty minutes later they were both looking at empty plates. Jenny's appetite had almost matched Jim's. She looked at the dishes with a little disbelief, then started to clear the table as Jim laughed at the face Jen made.

Jen faced the sink and turned on the water to wash the dishes. Jim stood and moved up behind her. He slipped his hands around Jen's waist. She stiffened and jerked her arm back catching Jim in the stomach with her elbow before she spun around with the sprayer still in hand and squirted him in the face.

Jim backpedaled from the blow to his gut. He tried to give Jen enough room so that she didn’t feel threatened and managed to back into the kitchen island as the spray of water hit him in the face.

Jenny dropped the sprayer, her hands flying up to cover her mouth in dismay. "Oh, Jim. I'm sorry," her voice cracked as tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm sorry," Jen whispered again, covering her face with both hands.

Jim blinked the water out of his eyes and shook his head spraying water droplets across the room. He took a deep breath. "I'm okay, Jenny," Jim said seriously. "But you've got to admit… this is something we need help handling, sweetheart."

They both started at the knock on the door. "Jim?" Blair's voice called. "Are you two okay?"

Jim rubbed at his stomach as Jenny met his gaze. "Let Blair in, would you?" he asked.  
She nodded and headed for the door, thus missing Jim's quick retreat to the bathroom. Jen opened the front door. Blair's smile warmed her and Jen gave him a small smile in return. "Come on in, Blair."

"Where's Jim?" he asked with a frown while Jen closed the door.

"He's right…" Jenny turned and realized Jim was gone.

A retching sound from the bathroom had both of them racing to the back of the loft. They found Jim hunched over the toilet heaving the last remnants of his breakfast. His knees gave out and Blair caught Jim before he fell. Blair helped ease the older man to the floor. Jenny grabbed a wash cloth and wet it down then joined the men on the floor. She wiped Jim's face, handed the cloth to Blair and stood back up to fill a cup with water.

She helped Jim take a sip from the cup. "Rinse and spit," Jen instructed gently. Jim nodded and complied. He closed his eyes and leaned back resting more heavily against Blair as he took slow breaths to try and calm his stomach.

Blair rubbed his hand along Jim's arm. "Better now?" he asked softly. Jim nodded again. "Want to move into the living room?" Blair asked. Jim shook his head, not trusting his stomach yet. "Okay."

"How about something to help settle your stomach?" Jenny asked. "We have some Pepto."

Jim grimaced and Blair grinned. "You should have some ginger ale in the fridge, I had Mike get some for you when she stocked up. I thought you might need it." Jenny nodded with a small grin and went to the kitchen.

Jim pulled his knees up and leaned his forehead on them. "What's wrong with me, Chief?" he asked, his voice so soft that Blair almost missed the question.

The Guide wrapped his arm around Jim's shoulders and gave him a squeeze. "I don't know, Jim. We'll get Nat to take another look, okay?" Jim sighed and nodded. "Ready to relocate now?" Blair asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Jim replied, straightening and accepting Blair's help up off the floor. They met Jenny coming back with the ginger ale and all three moved slowly into the living area. Jim sat on the couch with Jen and Blair taking a seat to either side of him. Jen offered the glass and Jim took a tentative sip. "Thanks," he whispered.

Jen nodded and watched Jim with worried eyes. She frowned and glanced up at Blair. When their eyes met, Jenny gave Blair a meaningful look, tilting her head toward Jim. Blair frowned then raised his eyebrows and mouthed the word 'bond.' Jenny nodded and Blair replied in kind.

Blair placed his hand on the back of Jim's neck and opened the link between the Guide and the Sentinel. Jim's eyes widened then with a sigh of relief he closed them and found himself racing through the jungle.

"Blair!" he called out, spinning in place as he tried to locate his Guide.

"I'm right here, Jim," Blair replied, catching Jim in a hug.

The Sentinel scented his Guide and reveled in the feel of Blair's curls against his cheek. "I'm so tired, Chief."

"I know, Jim. But everything's going to be all right. You need to relax and let us help."

Jim looked down at the Golden Retriever by his feet. "I'm just afraid… if something else happened to her…" He knelt and hugged the dog.

"Ah, Jim," Blair sighed. "There's only so much of life we can control, man. You know that."

Jim nodded. If only I could link to Jenny like I do Blair. At least then I could find her. He stared thoughtfully at the Retriever then 'reached' trying to make a connection. The dog growled and backed away and simultaneously Jim heard the wolf snarl and the jaguar scream. He turned and saw Blair crumple to the jungle floor just as the jungle faded…

Back in the loft, Jim caught sight of Jen to his right. She was backed up against the arm of the couch watching him warily. He started to say something when a moan shifted his attention to Blair.

The Shaman was curled up against the other arm of the couch, clutching his head in pain.

Jim immediately reached for their bond and gasped in shock at what he 'saw.' Normally the bond manifested as a golden rope stretching between the Sentinel and Guide. At first the rope had been pale and thin, but over the years it had grown thicker and brighter.

Right now the rope was dull and frayed. "No," Jim denied. He put his hand on Blair's shoulder and then, encouraged when his Guide did not move away, proceeded to pull Blair to him. Jim wrapped his arms around his brother and then wrapped his mind and love around him as well. "I'm sorry, Blair," he whispered. "I didn't know what I was doing. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

The soft, barely audible mantra continued as Jim focused his attention on the frayed bond. He imagined running his hands over the frayed ends, tucking them back and making them whole again. God, please, Blair. I didn't know. I'm sorry. Please. He repeated the words verbally as well, over and over ignoring the tears streaming down his face. I can't believe how stupid I am. Jesus. Blair? Please, answer me, Chief. I love you. Please?

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the rope appeared whole again. The glow was a little dimmer, but the frays were gone. Jim took a ragged breath. Blair? He sent the tentative question down their link, hoping for an answer.

The jungle formed around him, but the blue was dark, almost purple. Jim could feel the anguish coming from his Guide. He approached Blair slowly, then fell to his knees in front of him. "I'm so sorry, Blair. Please, you've got to know I'd never hurt you like that on purpose. I didn't know," Jim pleaded unable to meet his brother's eyes.

Blair stood staring down at his friend, his brother, his Sentinel, who had once again hurt him as only someone you loved could. He took a deep, ragged breath of his own then stepped forward to rest his hands on Jim's bowed shoulders.

"I guess this will make another chapter for the book, huh, Jim?" Blair asked lightly.

Jim raised his head and dared to meet Blair's gaze.

The Guide closed his eyes briefly then grinned ruefully down at his partner. "We never do things by halves, do we?"

The Sentinel bowed his head and shook it sadly. "I thought…"

Blair sank down beside Jim leaning in so just their shoulders touched. He couldn't believe how tired he felt.

Jim continued trying to find the right words to apologize. "I didn't know Chief. God I'm such a fool."

"Jim…" Blair sighed. "Enough, man." He met Jim's worried blue eyes with a little chagrin. "I… I have to admit, I was tossing around the idea myself." He shrugged. "I might have even suggested you try to link with Jenny tonight if you hadn't attempted it yourself."

"Really?" Jim asked. "You're not just saying that to make me feel better?"

"Naw, come on Jim, you know me better than that. I couldn't get away with that kind of obfuscation now, at least not with you. Simon, maybe," Blair tilted his head and rolled his eyes.

Jim snorted. "I think Simon's got us both pegged by now, Chief." He straightened and caught Blair by the shoulders. "I'm going to say this one more time, Blair. You are my Guide and I never meant for this to happen. I'm sorry, my brother."

Blair took a deep, cleansing breath and nodded. "I accept your apology, Sentinel." He frowned suddenly. "God, Jim, what about Jenny?"

Ellison's eyes widened, his need to get back to his wife evident, but he shook Blair gently by the shoulders. "Are we okay, Chief?" he asked again.

Sandburg grinned. "Yes, my brother." Around them the blue-purple jungle lightened. "Let's get back to the real world. We'll have time to discuss this again later."

Jim sighed as he released his hold on Blair and let the younger man sit back. Their eyes met and they exchanged soft, tentative smiles before both men turned to Jen.

Jenny was still sitting on the couch surrounded by her girls. Grey and Farli had both taken up perches on the back of the couch and Dreamer sat with her rear on Jen's lap and her front feet on the couch facing the men. Four pairs of eyes focused on the men.

Blair cleared his throat. "I think I'll go see if El needs me," he said standing to leave.

Jim nodded but didn't take his eyes off Jen. "We'll talk later, Chief," he said softly.

Jenny watched Blair leave then her eyes tracked back to Jim. He couldn’t quite figure out what she might be thinking. "Jenny…" he started.

"Why did you do that, Jim?" she asked abruptly, still not moving.

"You felt it?" he asked surprised.

She tilted her head briefly, a frown creasing her forehead. "A little… Carsons tried…"

Jim's entire body proclaimed his dismay. "Jen," he whispered. He closed his eyes momentarily. "I'm sorry."

Jenny's defensive posture loosened a bit. "He thought I was a Guide," she continued softly. "I think he tried to bond with me… I could almost feel something, in the back of my head," she frowned as she recalled the feeling. "But I'm not a Guide, Jim," Jen said meeting his eyes defensively.

"Ah, Jen," Jim moaned. "That's not what I was trying to do," he saw the disbelief in her eyes and rushed on with his explanation. "I just had a crazy idea that maybe we could have a link too. Just something that would let me know you're al… safe." He shook his head. "I never meant to hurt you or Blair. Please believe me?"

Tears sprang to Jen's eyes at the loss she heard in Jim's voice. "You didn't hurt me, Jim," she assured him quietly. "I was… surprised. And," she swallowed hard, "it brought back bad memories," Jen admitted under her breath.

Of course Jim heard her. His shoulders slumped, but he kept his eye on Jen. "Jenny, do you think it's safe for me to give you a hug now?" Jim asked.

She looked up startled, but gave a weak giggle when she saw Jim staring at the dog. "Go on, Dreamer," Jen urged. She patted the terrier on the side then put Dreamer on the floor before melting into Jim's embrace.

~~~~~~~~

Later that afternoon

After a light lunch, which Jim managed to keep down, and a long nap for both of them, Jim and Jenny ventured across the hall to 306 to visit with Elise, Blair and Nat. Blair had called the doctor after the incident that morning and left a message for Jim and Jenny to let them know when Kingston would be over.

Jenny watched anxiously as Nat checked Jim over, yet again.

Nat frowned. "How do you feel now?"

"Fine," Jim said with a shrug. "Lunch stayed down. I'm actually starting to get hungry again."

Kingston sighed. "Your bloodwork came back fairly normal, considering. It did show signs of malnutrition…"

Blair, Jen and El all gasped in unison.

Nat shook his head. "He's almost fifteen pounds under weight. That's only to be expected." He shrugged. "Otherwise Jim's in perfect health. I'm still inclined to say this is stress related." Kingston caught Jen's gaze. "I really think you should both see a psychiatrist about this. I know someone who would be perfect. She's a friend of mine. I've referred patients to her before. You could trust her with the Sentinel information," Nat said firmly.

Jenny shook her head. "I don't need some shrink to tell me that I'm going to have good days and bad days and lead me through the stages to recovery. I understand the denial, depression, anger…" Jen flung her hands up in frustration and stalked over to the window.

"What about Jim?" Elise asked. "He's obviously having trouble dealing with this, couldn't you see someone together, to help Jim?"

Jen spun around and pinned El with a glare recognizing the tactic. "Jim's less likely to admit to needing help than I am." She didn't even acknowledge the wry grin on her husband's face. "The only reason he's even considering it is because he knows I won't go unless he does."

"What do you have against psychiatrists, Iffy?" Nat's exasperation cut through Jen's indignation.

She sighed and shook her head as she made her way back to the couch and sat beside Jim. "Nothing," Jen admitted softly. "I just… I can't…" she leaned into Jim grateful when he pulled her into a hug.

"Let's give it a rest for now," Jim suggested. "Why don't you give us her name and number. We'll talk about it later," he promised giving Jen a gentle remonstrative squeeze when she started to protest.

Nat nodded as he pulled out his wallet. "Here's her card. Her name is Abigail LaCroix."

********

That night

Jim heard the phone ring from the shower and tuned in long enough to hear the answering machine pick up. He sighed. He hadn't expected Jen to answer the call, but… His hearing automatically searched out his wife's whereabouts and found her heart beating much too quickly. Jim rinsed hastily and turned off the water. He wrapped a towel around his waist and grabbed another, drying himself as he padded out to the kitchen.

He saw Jenny staring at the answering machine as her mother's voice blared from the speaker.

"… but don't worry, Jenny. You're father's fine. This just extends our trip a bit," Doranne Watkins chuckled. "Well, by about three more weeks. Anyway, I'm sure you know all the medical jargon, the doctor said that because of the type of break, Frank's leg has to be kept in traction to allow the initial calcification or some such. Pretty much, it means he gets to lounge around in bed watching foreign sport shows while I sight see." There was a slight pause and Jim could almost see Doranne's smile.

"I'm sorry I missed you, baby. I hope this doesn't mean you're working too hard. I thought you hired an associate? Well, I'll try and call you again in a few days. But you know your father, he's going to have a conniption when he finds out how much this call cost," she chuckled. "Besides the fact that he wouldn't want you to be worrying about him… Okay, honey, you take care and tell Jim 'hi' for us. We love you."

The line clicked and Jenny jumped at the sound of the dial tone over the speaker. She leaned back against the kitchen island with her arms wrapped tightly around her middle.

"Jen?" Jim asked, closing the distance between them and steadfastly ignoring the water he was dripping on the floor. "Why didn't you talk to her?"

Jenny's tortured eyes met Jim's. "What could I say to her Jim? They're stuck in Greece for at least three more weeks. What should I tell her?" She threw her hands up in disgust. "That her only daughter was kidnapped? Again. Only this time the bastard raped me, Mom! Oh, yeah and he beat me regularly too, but it's okay, you don't need to rush home, stay with Dad. You can't leave him alone, in a foreign country when he can't even get around under his own power. Oh! And by the way, congratulations! You're going to be a grandmother." Jen spun away and started to pace. "That would go over so well, Jim," she spat sarcastically.

Jim took a startled breath and exhaled sharply. Well that was… unexpected. He worried his lower lip with his teeth as Jen continued to pace. "Is this that 'anger' phase you were talking about?"

Jen stopped and stared at Jim in disbelief her mouth hanging open.

Jim held up his hands. "I'm sorry, Jen. That was uncalled for, you just surprised me, that's all."

She ducked her head briefly then looked back up at him. "You're dripping," Jen said with a small grin.

Her husband rolled his eyes. "I was in the shower," he reminded her.

"Well," she said, making a shooing motion, "go finish. I'm okay," Jen shook her head ruefully. "Or as okay as possible at the moment. Go. I'll clean up this mess," she indicated his puddle.

"All right," Jim smiled. "Thanks."

*****

June 28, Monday  
The next morning

Jim settled for some ginger ale and dry toast for breakfast, and Jenny was just as pleased as Jim when it didn't come back up.

The phone rang and Jim answered. It was Simon calling to ask if Jen was ready to make her report yet, she agreed that Simon could come over later to take her statement.

The phone rang again.

"Hey, Mike," Jim said facing Jen. "I'll ask." He raised questioning eyebrows. "Mike wants to see you."

Jenny focused her gaze on her hands. She fidgeted with the pen in her hand but nodded slightly.

"Okay, Mike. When… Oh, okay, see you in a bit." Jim hung up the phone.

He met Jenny's wide eyes. "When's she coming over?"

Jim licked his lips. "She called from downstairs."

"What?" Jen exclaimed. "Why that sneaky little…"

"Ah, you might want to watch what you say, Jen," Jim warned with a grin. "She might hear you." He tugged his ear.

Jenny grimaced. "Well it would serve her right for eavesdropping, wouldn't it?" she said sourly.

Jim gave Jenny a reassuring smile as he opened the door for Mike then went back to the kitchen.

Mike hobbled in, still restricted to using crutches for a few more days. “Hey Jim,” the junior Sentinel said nervously. “Thanks for letting me come over.” She glanced at her sister and bit her lip. “Hey Jen… I’m glad to see you.” She stood hesitantly just inside the door with all of her senses focused on Jenny.

"God, Mikey," Jen exclaimed, moving quickly to her sister. "What happened to you?" She caught Mike gently by the upper arm and led her to the couch.

Jim tensed from his place in the kitchen, but forced himself to stay put. She's not going to hurt Jen. She's not going to hurt Jen. She's not… He repeated over and over to himself as he turned and concentrated on cleaning up their breakfast mess.

Mike and Jenny settled on the couch side by side. Jen took the crutches and leaned them against the couch.

"So?" Jen asked.

Her sister shrugged. "I took a header off a dirt bike," she grinned at Jen's dismay. "It wasn't that bad, kouyuu. Except that I was in a hurry to get back to you." Mike frowned and wrapped her arms around Jenny taking in her sister's presence with all of her senses. "I'm so sorry, Jen," she whispered.

Jenny returned the hug, closing her eyes against the tears that threatened yet again. Her emotions were so close to the surface these days.

"I should have been here," Mike continued.

Jen huffed. "Sure, that would have done a lot of good," she said sarcastically, pushing Mike away gently but keeping her hands on the other woman's shoulders. "Then you and Jim both would have worried yourselves sick."

"Drink?" Jim asked, startling both women with his unexpected presence as he leaned over the back of the couch holding a cold bottle of water in each hand, which he had thrust between them.

"Um, thanks Jim," Jen said, taking the bottle in front of her with a confused frown.

Mike took her bottle and scooted away from Jen just a bit as she glanced up at Jim. "Thanks," the junior Sentinel whispered.

Jim grunted and with a curt nod stalked back into the kitchen.

Jenny looked from Jim to Mike and back again. She could practically see the tension in the air between the two. "What's up with you two?"

"Nothing," they both grumbled.

Mike grinned and rolled her eyes. "It's nothing, Jen. Don't worry about us," she replied, reaching out to brush a stray lock from Jenny's face.

A steel hand caught her wrist and Mike lifted her face to meet Ellison's icy glare.

"Jim?" Jenny queried, latching her own hand onto her husband's wrist. "What are you doing?"

Jim's glare softened as he looked at his wife. His free hand closed gently over the hand Jen had attached to his wrist.

Jackson growled low in her throat and pushed Jim's hand away as she stood up on the couch to get between Jenny and the other Sentinel.

"Get off the damn couch, Jackson!" Jim snarled, moving forward until his thighs pushed against the back of the couch, his steel glare aimed up at the female Sentinel.

"Back off, Ellison!" Mike demanded softly but with no less threat in her voice.

Jenny pulled her hand back and scrambled off the couch. What are they doing? What's happening? I can't… please… She backed away from the scene playing out over the back of the couch not even hearing the words that the two most important people in her life were throwing at one another. Stop, please stop. Jen's hands flew up to cover her ears. "Why?" she screamed. "Why are you doing this?"

Jim and Mike stopped suddenly and faced Jenny. Fear, guilt and dismay played across their faces, but neither had a chance to say anything before Jen bolted for the door.

Seconds later, Blair came sailing through the door ready to take on both Sentinels. He didn't find the war zone he was expecting though. Jim and Mike sat quietly, meekly even, on the couch.

"Is she okay?" Jim beseeched, meeting his Guide's blue eyes.

Blair ran a hand through his curls and took a deep breath. "She's like majorly freaking, man. What the hell happened?"

Jim rubbed his face with both hands and snuck a glance at Mike.

She shrugged. "It was that whole protector thing again, I think," Mike answered finally. "I thought we were doing okay and then…"

Jim nodded. "I just lost it, Chief." He stood and started to pace. "But we're fine now," Jim waved his hands toward Jackson. "Jenny seems to be the trigger. We can't keep doing this," he sighed, looking to his Guide and Shaman for a solution.

Blair snorted and plopped into the armchair. "All right, let's look at this scientifically, shall we?"

Jim sat back down.

Mike nodded. "We're all ears, Blair," she said.

The Shaman pulled his feet up under him to sit tailor-style on the chair. "Okay, the first time you did this was," Blair's eyes lost focus for a moment as he tried to recall the date, "it was right before you and Megan left for Australia, right Mike?"

She nodded thoughtfully. "That was toward the end of May."

Jim interrupted. "Jenny thought it might have been related to the fact that you and Megan hadn't bonded yet." Mike blushed lightly as Jim continued. "You did bond while you were in Australia," Jim let the question trail off.

"Yeah," Mike said, licking her lips, "we did. But what would that have to do with it? We weren't bonded before and the two of us went head to head. Now we are bonded, and you and I just had an encore performance."

"Right." Jim exhaled loudly. "Well, it was just a theory."

Blair sat forward. "I think we need to focus on Jenny. She's the only thing that has triggered this BP overdrive. And both times it's happened in the loft. Why didn't you freak out in the hospital?"

The Sentinels shrugged together.

"Territory?" Jim suggested. "Both times, Jenny's been here and Mike's been in 'our' home."

Blair shook his head. "That may be part of it, but Mike's been over here a hundred times before with Jen present."

"Jenny must have been a couple of weeks along," Mike said softly, almost to herself.

"What?" Jim asked.

"Jenny was pregnant that first time, even though we didn't know it," Mike replied slowly, thinking it through as she spoke. "What if it's not Jenny, but the baby?"

The three of them sat silently digesting that thought for several minutes before Blair spoke.

"I think… I think it's both of them," he said tentatively.

"What do you mean, Chief?" Jim frowned.

"Maybe that's why Carsons took her," Blair whispered.

"Sweet Jesus!" Jim swore as he exploded off the couch and started to prowl the area.

"But that would mean," Mike stuttered, staring at Blair, "that the baby is a Guide?"

Blair shrugged. "Maybe… or maybe not." He tossed his hands up. "Hell, I don't know. Maybe it's some hormone Jenny's producing. The question is, can you two control yourselves now that we understand what's happening?"

Jim stopped his pacing to stare out over the balcony. "We need to explain this to Jen," he turned to face the other two. "We need to set up a meeting under a controlled situation with you, me, Jen, Mike and Megan. That way you," he looked at Blair, "and Megan can keep us from…" Jim sighed trailing off as he waved his hands to indicate the current situation.

Mike shook her head aghast. "We can't let Jenny know Carsons took her because she was pregnant!"

"Well we can't not tell her either!" Jim retorted. He sighed again. "She's got to know what happened between us, Mike. I won't lie to her. Besides, don't you think she'll figure it out on her own once she's thinking straight again?"

Jackson slumped back into the cushions and slapped her hands down couch. "Damn." She met Jim's eyes. "Damn," Mike repeated softly.

He gave her a little lopsided smile as he nodded. "I'm going to see if she'll talk to me," Jim said heading for the door. He stopped. "I'll have her call you, Mike."

The other Sentinel nodded miserably.

"Chief?" Jim inquired.

"I'm coming," Blair answered as he pulled himself up out of the chair. "Mike, go home and talk to Megan about this," he suggested, gathering up her crutches and handing them to her.

Mike grunted an affirmative as she took the crutches. "Thanks Blair," she said absently then hobbled to the door.

Jim knocked softly on Blair's door. Elise opened it right away.

"Can I come in?" Jim asked, focusing on his wife's heartbeat in the room above.

El nodded. "Did you guys figure out what's going on?" she asked, her green eyes pinning Jim in place.

"We think so."

Blair came in and closed the door. "How's Jen?" he asked, slipping one arm around El's waist.

"Upset. Confused," Elise replied in a frustrated huff. "She doesn't need any more stress right now," El kept her voice soft but the fire in her tone made Jim wince.

"Shhhh, El," Blair comforted, pulling her into a hug. "I'll explain everything." He caught Jim's eye. "Go on up, Jim. Talk to her."

Jim nodded and made his way up the stairs to the bedroom. He stopped before reaching the top of the stairs. "Jen? Can I come up?" he entreated.

"Yes," she replied softly.

He continued up onto the landing. Jen was sitting on the edge of the bed wringing a tissue to death with her hands. She met his eyes briefly then focused on her hands again.

Jim swallowed and sat beside her. "I'm sorry," he started. "It feels like I've been doing nothing but apologizing to you the last few days." He tilted his head slightly so he could watch her out of the corner of his eye.

Jenny remained silent.

"We think we might have figured out why we acted so badly," Jim continued. "Mike wasn't sure we should tell you right now, but I don't want to hide anything from you."

She turned her head toward Jim just a bit. "It's something to do with the baby, right? I mean, that's the only thing that makes sense." Jen stood up and started to pace. "You and Mike got all overprotective of me before…" she paused, "before she left for Australia. Then Carsons thought I was a Guide." Jen met Jim's gazed. "And now, this was the first time the three of us have been close together in 'your' territory since I… got home."

Jim nodded. "That's the conclusion we came to. But we're not exactly sure why."

Jen shrugged and sat back down by Jim. "I suppose we'll figure that out sooner or later, but Jim… I can't… I can't deal with the two of you right now. I just can't," she said, her voice cracking with emotion.

Jim pulled Jenny to him and pressed a kiss to her temple. "I know. I'm sorry. We're going to fix it, sweetheart, I promise. I love you."

Jenny wrapped her arms around Jim's waist. "I love you too, I just wish…"

"I know," Jim whispered. "Me too."

*****

Later that afternoon

Jim let Simon in and closed the door. Jenny sat in one of the armchairs clutching Grey to her chest. The cat seemed perfectly content if her purr was any indicator. Simon took a seat on the end of the couch closest to Jen's chair. He pulled out a micro tape recorder and set it on the coffee table.

"Jen," Simon said compassionately. "Do you want Jim to stay?"

Jenny's eyes widened in dismay as she glanced quickly from Simon to Jim and back again, then shook her head. "No," she replied softly.

"Jen? Are you sure?" Jim asked, his own need to hear what happened evident on his face.

Jen shook her head. "Just Simon, please," she whispered, not able to meet Jim's eyes.

Simon caught Jim's gaze and tilted his chin toward the front door. "Go on, Jim," he said gently. "We'll be fine."

Jim sighed and moved slowly for the door.

"And no listening, Ellison," Simon commanded Sentinel soft.

As the door closed behind Jim, Simon turned back to Jenny. "Okay, Jen. Let me just explain a few things here for you. This statement is for the record. With Carsons dead, there won't be a trial, this is just a formality." Simon continued his voice calm and reassuring. "I need you to give me the facts as you know them. What you felt at the time is fine, but you don't have to try to get into Carsons' head. Let his actions stand for themselves, okay? "

Jenny nodded. Simon turned on the tape.

"June 28, 2004. Victim's statement in the Ellison/Carsons case." He looked at Jen. "Please state your name for the record."

"Dr. Jennifer Ellison," Jen said, her voice quivered.

"Dr. Ellison, would you please describe what happened to you on the date of May 29, 2004?"

~~~~~~~~

Simon turned off the recorder and leaned back into the couch cushions. "I'm sorry, Jen," he said, his heart breaking for the woman who had married his best detective. "I wish we had been able to find you sooner."

Jen drew a ragged breath then gave him a rueful smile. "Me too." She took another deeper breath and sighed. "But that didn't happen and you did everything you could, Si. I know that."

"Did I just get a nickname?" Simon asked with a teasing smile.

She chuckled. "Not very original, I know."

Banks chuckled and shook his head. "I'm just amazed that you seem to think I need one now. You're the one that needs the nickname."

Jenny shrugged and finally released her hold on Grey. The cat just made herself more comfortable on Jen's lap. "I have plenty of nicknames, Si." She paused. "Look, I don't want Jim to hear that, not yet. I know he can get access to it eventually, but…"

Simon nodded. "No problem. I'll keep the tape, transcript and file under lock and key for a while."

"Thanks. He doesn't need to hear all the gory details right now," Jen explained. "Jim's already… It's over, there's nothing he can do to change it."

"Trust me, Jen, I understand." Simon stood. "I'm glad you're home. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help, okay?"

Jenny nodded and stood as Simon left the loft. She went into the bathroom, stripped down and stepped into the shower.

~~~~~~~~

"Simon!" Jim growled.

"Don't, Ellison," Simon growled back. "It's her statement, she has every right to ask that it remain confidential." He relented just a bit. "Look, Jim, it's not that she won't let you see the transcript eventually, but it's too close right now. Jen needs time to deal with it without having to deal with you knowing every detail."

Blair put his hand on Jim's shoulder. "Listen to him Jim. You need to focus on the present, not the past."

Simon pinched the bridge of his nose. "Besides, Jim, you know the basics, why torture yourself with the minute details?"

"She's my wife," Jim stated firmly. "What if I do something that reminds her of him?"

Blair and Simon shared a sympathetic glance, then Simon put a hand on Jim's other shoulder.

"I understand where you're coming from, Jim, but she needs time."

Jim grunted but nodded his acceptance that Simon would not let him hear the tape at this time. But that didn't mean he would give up.

~~~~~~~

Jenny heard Jim come back in. She had finished her shower, changed and retreated back to their bedroom. Footsteps treaded heavily up the stairs and Jen felt the bed sag as Jim sat down.

"Why, Jen?"

She stayed still, her arm draped across her eyes to block out the sight of… whatever. "I just can't right now, Jim. I couldn't bear to see what that information might do to you. How it might change the way you look at me," Jen whispered. "Please understand."

Jim sighed. "Okay. I can understand that, although nothing that happened will change how I feel about you, Jen. How much I love you."

Jenny moved her arm and met his gaze. Her normally blue eyes were almost gray with stress. "I know that, really. It just gets all jumbled right now." She sat up suddenly. "Why do you need to know the details, Jim? I don't… I just want to forget what happened. If you know, then I can't do that."

Jim ran his hand over his head catching the back of his neck as he tried to explain his need to his distraught wife. "I need to fill in that time we missed together, Jen. Don't ask me why, but I do."

She licked her lips thoughtfully. "Okay," Jen replied softly. "How about we just share the positive things we each did? No mention of the case at all."

He blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I practiced my Taekwondo every day. It gave me something to do."

"Ah," Jim said with an understanding nod. "Well, I… Blair and I took Dreamer to practice one weekend."

Jenny grinned as she listened to Jim describe their exploits.

*****

Over the next several days Jenny and Jim stayed in the loft, but accepted more visitors. Jen spoke to friends on the phone and called her office to check in and reassure her staff that she would be back soon.

Mike and Megan came over every evening after work and with the Guides in control, they worked through exercises designed to test the limits of the Sentinels' BP boundaries. By the end of the third evening, Jim and Mike were fairly confident that the instinct to protect Jenny from each other could be controlled. However the effort was exhausting and it was finally agreed that Mike would not visit Jenny at home when Jim was present. Instead they would meet across the hall on more neutral territory.

For some strange reason, neither one seemed to have trouble at Blair's home. At least not as much of one. Still, it was always a relief to have Mike and Megan head back to their own space.

~~~~~~

Thursday evening

Jim opened the door and smiled as he let Joel and Lydia in. Somehow the couple had finagled a dinner invitation out of Jenny, although Lydia had insisted on doing all the cooking. Jim took the carton that Lydia was carrying.

"Good Lord, Lydia," he exclaimed, pretending to stagger with the weight of the container. "How much food did you bring?"

Lydia Taggert chuckled. "Don't you drop that, James," she scolded, patting him lightly on the back as he headed toward the kitchen. "I brought enough, don't you worry about it."

Joel laughed. "There's more in the car, Jim."

Jim widened his eyes in false astonishment, then chuckled as well. "I can never get enough of your cooking, Lydia," he added.

"From the look of you, James, you're not eating much of anything right now," Lydia admonished. "Blair told Joel you were having problems with an upset stomach." She nodded toward the carton. "I brought you a supply of my Momma's special peppermint tea. It's an old family recipe, guaranteed to settle your stomach."

Jim smiled as he picked up a box of tea bags. The smell of peppermint wafted up at him, and curiously enough, even the smell was soothing. "Thanks Lydia."

"So where is Jenny?" Joel asked as they all started to unload the cartons to prepare dinner.

"She's over at Blair's with Mike," Jim replied. "We've found it's a bit less stressful on all of us if Mike and Jen visit over there right now. She should be back any time."

Lydia Taggert, Lisa Brown and Rhonda's husband, Bob had all been let in on the Sentinel secret not too long after Jim and Blair first told the Major Crime crew. It made their 'family-get-togethers' easier and also did not force the married members of the club to keep secrets from their spouses.

"Blair mentioned something about you and Mike having problems," Joel said, "but only in passing. Is it Sentinel related?"

Jim shrugged. "Sort of. As best we can figure, Mike and I both seem to have a," he paused then continued ruefully, "claim, for lack of a better word, on Jenny. Our protective instincts have kicked into overdrive after Carsons, and maybe because of the baby. Anyway, what it boils down to is that we seem to want to protect her from each other." He set the kettle on the stove to heat some water for the tea.

Joel leaned forward resting his elbows on the kitchen island. "I suppose that makes sense. You're both her family, even if Mike isn't related by blood, they are as close as sisters." Jim nodded. "It only follows that you would both see it as your job to protect Jen while she's pregnant and 'potentially' less able to care for herself." Joel shot a quick look at Lydia.

Lydia snorted and tapped her husband gently on the arm. "Everyone always thinks a pregnant woman is somehow incapacitated. I don't suppose there's any reason for a Sentinel to be any better about it than any other husband."

Jim grinned but it quickly transformed into a frown. "It's more than that, Lydia. I… It's difficult to explain, but I cannot accept Mike's presence in my 'space' when Jenny's near. It sounds completely juvenile, but that's the only way I can explain it."

"I don't think it's so strange, Jim," Joel assured. "Your senses give you a great advantage and also, from what I understand, keep your natural instincts at a higher level than most of us. That means all of your instincts, and protecting your mate and offspring probably rate pretty high on the list."

"My mate…" Jim mumbled. "Now I really do feel like a caveman," he finished wryly.

"Now Jim," Lydia chided, "mate is not a four letter word… well, it is," she continued, ignoring the men's chuckles, "but it's just as viable as spouse, partner, or wife."

Jim nodded, smiling broadly. "I know. Thank you though, both of you. I think you've helped me put this whole thing into perspective." He pulled the kettle off the burner just before it started to whistle. "Would you care for some tea?" he asked, pouring hot water into a mug for himself.

"Sounds good," Joel said. Lydia nodded.

They chatted companionably while they worked. A few minutes later the door opened and Jenny came in.

"Hi," she said a bit shyly.

Lydia and then Joel gave Jen a hug. She smiled as Jim ushered her onto a stool to watch the activity.

"So," Jen asked, feeling more at ease, "what is making that wonderful peppermint smell?"

********

July 4, Sunday night

Surprisingly enough they had the roof to themselves. Blair and El had gone to the park with the others to watch the fireworks, but Jen wasn't quite up to the crowds yet. So, she and Jim had made a little picnic and taken it up onto the roof of their building. The fireworks would be easily visible from there and Jenny would be able to relax and enjoy them.

They sat side by side on the porch swing one of the tenants had added to the rooftop garden and waited for the sky to darken enough for the show. Jim slipped his arm around Jenny's back and pulled her to him. She snuggled in with a sigh.

"I think you should go back to work," Jen said softly.

Jim's eyebrows rose. "I, um thought I'd wait a while longer," he stuttered, caught off guard by the subject.

Jen shook her head. "No. I need to start… adjusting. And I need to get back to work myself, but I know I'm not ready for that yet. Maybe next week."

Jim snorted. "Next week? Like you can just decide you're going to be okay by then?"

Jenny huffed. "No. But I can't just let this thing take over my life either. I'll start back part time. Just some office work to catch up. Dr. Craft is handling the patients. Then when I'm more comfortable, I'll take a few appointments." She leaned her head against Jim's arm. "But there's no reason you can't go back to work. I'm fine in the loft. And I'm sure you can find plenty of volunteers to check up on me."

Jim could hear her grin. He looked down at her and sure enough, Jen's eyes twinkled with amusement. It was good to see her enjoying herself, if only for an evening.

"Okay. Maybe I'll put in a few half-days this week," Jim agreed.

Jenny snorted and Jim laughed. They both knew half-days at the PD were unlikely.

~~~~~

Monday

Jim entered the loft around two feeling as if he'd worked two shifts instead of half of one.

Jen looked up from the vet journal she was reading on the couch. "Hi, Jim. I didn't expect you home yet. Are you okay?" She set the journal on the coffee table as she stood and met Jim halfway to the couch.

"Yeah," he replied, catching Jen in a brief hug. "I'm just tired." Jim plopped down on the couch and leaned back closing his eyes.

"Would you like something to drink?" Jen asked, heading for the kitchen. "Is your stomach bothering you?"

"Yes, please. No. But tea would be fine," Jim answered sleepily, some part of his brain acknowledging the fact that the loft already smelled like peppermint tea.

Jenny grabbed another mug and tested the water in the kettle. It was still warm. For some reason, she seemed to crave the tea Lydia and Joel had brought over. She'd already had two cups that morning.

"Here you go," Jen said, moving back to the living area. She stood beside the couch and smiled gently at her husband. Jim was stretched out on his side sound asleep. Jenny put the mug down and carefully draped the afghan over Jim then she took a seat in the armchair and sipped at the tea as she continued to read her journal.

******

Thursday

Jim grinned broadly at his partner as they waited in the CPD lobby for the elevator. "I swear, Chief, he wanted you."

Blair rolled his eyes. Jim just wasn't going to let it go. One of their new snitches seemed to have a thing for him. "You didn't have to encourage him, Jim."

"Ah, come on Chief, I told him you were married," Jim chortled.

"Yeah, then you insinuated that I might not be adverse to spending some time with him."

"I was just trying to get the most information possible," the Sentinel teased. "And while his attention was on you, he wasn't paying attention to what was coming out of his mouth."

"Yeah, yeah," Blair groused good-naturedly as the elevator doors opened. "I still think you over-played it."

"I felt sorry for him, Chief," Jim said seriously, then continued, "he has such a big crush on you."

"Putz," Blair replied with a light slap to Jim's chest as he turned to push the button to the sixth floor.

Jim grabbed his chest and bent over trying to control the sudden lightning agony that raced through his body.

Blair turned around. "Oh, that's funny Jim. I didn't hit you that hard," he smirked, but Ellison didn't move except to draw in short, ragged breaths. "Jim?" Blair asked, his hands grasping the Sentinel's shoulders. "What's wrong?"

The bigger man straightened slowly, a bit embarrassed, but his nipples were so sensitive that even his shirt rubbing against them made him wince. Blair's gentle tap had almost sent the Sentinel to his knees. Jim cranked down hard on the touch dial and for half a second thought about trying to bluff his way out of explaining it to his Guide. The look of concern in Blair's eye's killed that thought.

"Let's take this someplace more private, Chief," Jim requested in a hoarse whisper. Even with touch turned down he was uncomfortable.

Blair followed Jim out onto the sixth floor and down the hall carefully observing the bunched muscles in Ellison's back and shoulders. The Sentinel's whole stance spoke of extreme discomfort. They entered the break room and Jim closed and locked the door, then drew the blinds.

Jim unbuttoned his shirt as quickly as he could and sighed with relief to have the coarse fabric away from his pecs.

"Jim?" Blair asked seeing nothing wrong with Jim except that he was still a few pounds underweight. "What's going on, man?"

"I don't know, Chief," Jim admitted sheepishly. "Your little love tap caught me off guard."

Blair's eyes narrowed. "Oh, come on, Jim. I've hit you harder than that and you didn't even flinch."

Jim ducked his head. "My nipples are really sore," he said, feeling a blush that seemed to encompass his entire body.

Sandburg suppressed a grin.

"You hit me right on target, and it felt like fire," Jim continued.

Blair's grin died. "I'm sorry, Jim. I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't," Jim assured him. "I just kept cranking down on my dials hoping it was temporary."

"Well, I don't think you've eaten anything or come into contact with anything that would cause an allergic reaction, but maybe you should go home, take a shower and change clothes, just in case," Blair suggested.

Jim frowned. "Guess that means another half-day, huh?"

Blair grinned. "Hey, take advantage of Simon's good-will. He said to take whatever time you and Jenny need. I think this qualifies."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be glad when things get back to normal around here," Jim grumbled.

"Normal?" Blair snorted. "Since when have we ever had normal?"

~~~~~~~

Jenny sighed and sat on the edge of the bed surrounded by shirts. Cotton, polyester, silk, nothing seemed gentle enough. She grinned ruefully as Grey made herself comfortable on one pile. Farli seemed more interested in checking out the drawer Jen had left partially opened.

The sound of the front door opening sent Jen's heart racing. "It's me," Jim's voice floated upstairs.

She heard him come up the stairs and turned to see her husband standing bare-chested by the bed.

"Jen?" Jim asked, her topless state causing obvious confusion.

She rolled her eyes. "I couldn't find anything comfortable to wear," Jen explained. "I know it's expected, and I usually have a few days when my nipples are extra sensitive when I have my period, but today I can't stand to have anything come in contact with them." She shrugged helplessly.

A series of expressions flashed across Jim's face. Confusion, understanding, astonishment and then disbelief as he realized what Jenny was talking about and that he seemed to be having the same problem.

"Um, I'm having a similar experience," he said slowly.

Jenny's eyebrows raised in surprise. Jim nodded. "Blair tapped me on the chest and I thought I was going to die," he said off-handedly. Jen regarded him thoughtfully. "What?" he asked.

She sat on the bed and patted the mattress to get him to sit as well. He cleared a spot and sat on his side of the bed.

"Listen to these symptoms and tell me what you think," Jen said. "Nausea, vomiting, exhaustion, tender breasts…"

Jim shrugged. "Could be…" he stopped. "Have you been having morning sickness, Jen? I'm sure I would have noticed."

Jenny grinned and shook her head. "No… but you have."

"?" Jim shook his head. "No. I…"

Jen giggled at the expression of disbelief on his face. "You are having sympathetic pregnancy symptoms, Jim." Her grin widened to an affectionate smile. "There's even a name for it that escapes me at the moment. But I think that's why you've been sick to your stomach."

Jim grinned ruefully then reached over and put his hand on Jenny's bare stomach. "I forgot to tell you, I can feel where the baby is."

"Really?" Jenny asked wide-eyed.

Jim nodded concentrating on the 'hot spot.'

"That's… wow."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Let's not tell anyone about this…" Jim said, one hand motioning between the two of them.

Jenny grinned. "What? That we both sat around without shirts on all afternoon?"

Jim growled playfully and leaned over to kiss Jenny on the shoulder. "You know what I mean. It's kind of embarrassing."

"I don't know," Jen replied. "I think it's sweet, flattering and… sexy."

Jim swallowed hard. He didn't really think Jenny was ready to resume their sex life, but he could only follow her lead.

She looked into his eyes, saw the passion stewing there and stiffened. Jen lowered her head. "I'm sorry, Jim," she said softly.

"Hey," he said, lifting her chin with his fingers. "It's okay. I didn't expect you to even be this comfortable," Jim indicated their state of undress with his other hand, "so soon. You know there's no rush, whenever you're ready. I love you, Jen. I need you to be happy."

Jenny nodded but clearly was not happy.

*****

Friday

"Jenny?" Jim said, unsure exactly how he felt about the fact that his wife was fully dressed and looking like she was ready to go to work.

"Yes, Jim," Jen replied as she puttered around the kitchen making tea.

"Are you going somewhere?" he asked, paying more attention to Jen than the bagel he was buttering.

"I thought I'd get you to drop me by the clinic on your way to the station," she answered, picking up the other half of his bagel and taking a bite. "I don't think I'm up to driving, but I'd like to spend a few hours at the office. Get some things caught up." Jen shrugged, still avoiding Jim's piercing gaze.

"Are you sure?" he asked gently.

Jen met his eyes and nodded. "I'm going stir crazy," she rolled her eyes. "Besides, I can't stay in the loft for the rest of my life. I won't know if I can do it unless I try."

Jim sighed and set his bagel down uneaten. He put his hands on Jen's waist and pulled her to him slowly. "There's no rush Jen. It's only been a few weeks."

She ducked her head. "I know. But the longer I wait… I'm not going to let him beat me," Jen's low reply was barely audible.

"All right," Jim said tugging her closer into a hug. "But you call me if it's too much and you need a ride home, okay?"

Jen returned the hug and nodded.

*****

Wednesday, July 14  
The bullpen

"Ellison," Jim answered his phone half expecting to hear Jenny's voice.

"Detective Ellison? It's Melissa, at the clinic…"

"What's wrong?" Jim snapped, his tone catching Blair's attention.

"Dr. J locked herself in her office," Melissa stammered. "She won't answer us. Can you come?"

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes, Mel," Jim assured the young woman who worked as Jen's receptionist. "Don't try to open the door, just wait for me."

"Okay," she said as Jim hung up the phone.

"You want me to come?" Blair asked, rising from his chair.

Jim shook his head. "No, I'll take her home, you keep after that lead." He leveled his best glare at his partner. "But don't go following anything up without me, Chief. Okay?"

Blair grinned then sighed as he watched Jim dash out the door.

~~~~~~~~

West Cascade Animal Clinic

Jenny's anxious staff and one concerned client met Jim as he entered the reception area.

"Detective," Justin, the technician said waving a hand toward the large stranger beside him. "This is Mr. Williams. Dr. J saw his cat just before…" Justin shrugged.

"Detective Ellison," Mr. Williams said offering his hand. He continued as Jim shook it cordially. "I am so sorry. I've known Dr. Jennifer for years. I was happy to hear she was back. I don't know what happened," he rambled nervously. "One minute we were talking about Kiwi's allergies and the next Dr. J had excused herself from the room."

"It's not your fault, sir," Jim assured the man. "It doesn't take much to catch her off guard right now." He glanced back toward Jen's office and then at Melissa and Justin. "She still in there?"

Melissa nodded.

Jim caught Mr. Williams' eye. "Thank you for your concern. I know Jenny will appreciate it."

Williams nodded uncertainly. "Take care of her, Detective."

"I will," Jim replied then headed for Jenny's office.

He reached the door and tried the knob. It was locked. "Jenny, it's Jim. Let me in, please." No reply. Jim listened and quickly located Jenny's rapid heart beat and soft sobs. "Sweetie," he said pulling out his lock picks, tools from his covert ops days that still came in handy sometimes. "I'm coming in, Jen."

Jim grinned to himself as the door popped open after a few short seconds of work. Haven't lost it. He couldn't see Jen from the door, but easily located her position on the floor behind the desk. Jim closed the door and locked it. "Can I come over?" he asked cautiously.

A soft affirmative noise floated up from the corner. Jim rounded the desk and frowned at the sight before him. Jenny had her knees drawn up to her chest with her arms wrapped around her legs and her forehead resting on her knees. Jim eased himself down to the floor and scooted in beside Jen drawing his own knees up a bit as he leaned against the wall.

"Wanna tell me what happened?"

She shrugged pitifully, without raising her head.

"I met Mr. Williams. Seems like a nice guy."

"He's still here?" Jen asked, turning her head to look at Jim.

"I think he's gone now. He apologized for scaring you," Jim continued in the same calm, non-confrontational voice.

"Oh, God. It wasn't his fault," Jen muttered. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I've known him forever. He was one of my first clients here in Cascade. I went to his daughter's wedding for heaven's sake."

Jim waited patiently.

Jen straightened and leaned her head back against the wall. "Everything was fine. I looked at Kiwi, finished my notes in the computer and turned back to explain the medicine I was sending home when… I don't know… all of a sudden, I couldn't breathe." Jenny closed her eyes. "I felt trapped…" She opened them and stared at the far wall. "I called for Justin and I think I asked him to explain the prescription to Mr. Williams. The next thing I know, I'm sitting here on the floor listening to Melissa call my name through the door."

Jim maintained his silence, waiting for Jen to make eye contact. Finally she glanced his way and reluctantly met his gaze. Jenny sighed. "Oh, all right!" she snapped without any fervor. "We'll go see Nat's shrink."

Jim smiled gently as he helped his wife to her feet.

...End for now


End file.
